INS jokes
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
Some moving men had just begun their day's work.
The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.
The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
Only in London underground lol
The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
A man walked into a zoo and there was only one dog.
He came out and said, "It was a shitzu."
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
What is the funniest hill in the world called? Hill-arious!