INS jokes
POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
:me😐
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
What does McDonald's and priests have in common?
They put their meat inside 10 year olds.