INS jokes
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
His dick was stuck in the chicken.
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!
I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"
How tall does the grass grow in Germany?
Zis high!
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They wear their ICE.
Why is it cold in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.