INS jokes
The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?
Because she can listen to call music.
W in Africa stands for water.
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.
What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?
"Mum" and "Dad."
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?
Just once.
I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"