INS jokes
Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.
Nobody got it.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
Why do some people hate camping?
It's in tents.
I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.
I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."
Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?
Panera said.
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
What do you call an Emo in the hanging gallows?
Happy for the first time.
What do orphans' parents have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.