INS jokes
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Marriage is really educational.
When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
I was digging in my garden when I found this chest of gold coins.
I wanted to run inside to tell my wife what I found, but that's when I remembered why I was digging.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.