INS jokes
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo so it would cut itself.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
Operation failed in North Korea, the surgeon died.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".