INS jokes

It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shitzu.

Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!

Your move, Ron DeSantis.

Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."

What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?

Roamin’ Numerals.

Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.

What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?

They both get turned on by kids.

Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.

9/11 victims are the best readers.

They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.

Why do pedophiles never win a race?

Because they are always coming in a little behind.

What do you call a smart person in America?

A tourist.

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.

Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.

Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.