INS jokes
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
What is the biggest candy in the world?
Candy Borobudur.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
"Knock knock."
"Come in."
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
What do Diddy and Turkish men have in common?
They both use lots of oil.
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.