INS jokes
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause he got stuck in the crack! *butt crack*
I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
What do guns and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?