INS jokes

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.

Now they call him Hot Wheels.

I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.

The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.

How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.

You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

What do you call a dad in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."

What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?

They're both yellow and can't drive.

In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.

Why are women like hurricanes?

They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.

What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.

I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.

Rules of Dark humor:

1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.

2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.

3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.

I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.

- Sincerely, Zane

What does my head and hell have in common?

They both have demons in them.

Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?

Weird Kid: Magazines.

Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.

Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.

What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?

A frog in a blender.