INS jokes
POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
:me😐
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
Yo forehead so big you think in HD.
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."
What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?
Slaves.
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
A Russian, a Cuban, and an Englishman are on a ship. The Russian takes a swig of vodka and throws the bottle overboard. The Cuban and Englishman with astonishment say to the Russian, "What did you do that for?"
The Russian says, "In Russia, we got an unlimited supply of vodka."
A little while later, the Cuban lights up a cigar, takes a puff, and throws it overboard. The Cuban says, "We got an unlimited supply of Cuban Cigars in Cuba."
Then the Englishman grabs a Paki and throws him overboard...
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
What do you call a terrorist in a bath?
A bath bomb.
This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!