INS jokes
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?
A rainbow.
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.
People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
What’s one good thing about a pedophile?
They drive slow in school zones.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?
My penis.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.
On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.