INS jokes
People who are annoying. There are two of them.
1. Capet.
2. Akeld.
The winner is "Akeld," although Jordan Calerendiá comes in with a tie. Yah! Not really!
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
Not a joke; just a statement:
Everything on here is unoriginal! 😂 But just because every word on here is unoriginal, it doesn’t change the way we feel. Our feelings are the only thing that is original because our feelings are our own. Even though others have the same or similar feelings! Our feelings are still our own. And sharing those feelings with words spoken from another just means we are NOT ALONE in our feelings.
Billy: "I'm so used to having you in bed with me, I don't know if I'm ready for this long-distance relationship."
Sally: "Ohh, don't worry brother, I'll just be right down the hall..."
Uranus floats around in space.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV. His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"