INS jokes
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
What is the state of California best for? Screwing everything up!
What is the state of Florida for? Rednecks for days!
What is the state of Texas for? Guns!
What is the state of Utah for? Mormons and Pligs baby! (I hate all of the religious stuff!)
What is the state of Idaho for? Calling other people Ho's, mostly!
What is the state of Nevada for? Ever heard of gambling?
What is the state of Delaware for? Literally anything that isn't exciting!
What is the state of New York for? In my state of mind, it's a song! (If you don't get this one, look up the song of New York State of Mind)
COVID-19. IN YOUR FACE! HAHA!
"Daveon, stop screaming for help because I broke your kneecaps!"
A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
Say "I cup" but in words.
I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.
Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.
Where do you find the best comedians?
In the funny farm!
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
Go to the replies, look at the top and it will say "in your mum."
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
What happens when you kick a boy in the balls?
THEY NUTS ARE IN PAIN.
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."
What do apple trees and orphans have in common?
The apples get picked.
What is war used for? (put in comments below)
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
How do rappers stay cool in the summer?
They drop ICE COLD rhymes.