INS jokes

Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?

In case they get a hole in one.

What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?

They both charge.

How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?

It's not hard.

Father heard his children scream,

so he threw them in the stream.

Saying, as he drowned the third,

"Children should be seen, not heard!"

Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.

Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"

Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."

Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"

I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.

Jesse: Do you like my ball?

Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?

Jesse: No, they do not leave me.

"That's not my age; it's just not true.

My heart is young; the time just flew.

I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."

It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Tory shirts step in doodoo.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

My friends think I'm bipolar. I threw a pencil case at someone and I walked out, walked back in 2 seconds later and I was sunshines and rainbows.

Why do cops never put orphans in jail?

Because they aren't wanted.

Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?

Answer; Because it's where everyone goes to "Hang Their Meat"!

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

How did my dad know I was gay?

He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.

Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?

They're cool and chill.

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

Did you know the Titanic sank in water?

Titanic 1, Africa 0.