INS jokes
I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."
The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
This is a joke about Ms. Ploopatoink, a made-up character who is a pink fluffy pony who loves toilet paper.
Why is Ms. Ploopatoink like a toilet plunger?
They both jump in the toilet!
What's black and white and red all over????? A zebra in a blender!
It's a RUF life in Africa.
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
My dad died in 9/11.
But he was the pilot.
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.