INS jokes

Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.

What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"

Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?

I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.

How to get a girl in three steps:

Step 1: grab a pillow.

Step 2: grab a blanket.

Step 3: keep dreaming.

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.

When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"

The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

What's red, green, and goes 90 miles an hour?

A frog in a blender.

Uranus, ur-anus, your anus. Anus is what's in between your two buttocks.

One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF?

What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?

They both choke on plastic.

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?

Because they are really good at saving.

What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?

Victims of 9/11 are the fastest readers. They went through 94 stories in seconds.

I was at an emotional wedding. The cake was in tiers.