INS jokes
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.
Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
There will be better punchlines at BlessedBrian’s FUNERAL than in his JOKES.
What's red, green, and goes 90 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.
Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!
What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
Odo walks down the alley and turns into a bar.
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common? A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.