INS jokes
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in a different box.
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!