INS jokes
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
(demons in my head) I laugh to meet them...
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
bro what?
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
What goes up and down but stays in the same place?
Stairs.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
Did you know I'm a really fast reader?
I can go through a few stories in just a few seconds!
Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?
Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.