INS jokes
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.
Do you like Wendy's? When deez nutz are in your mouth.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
If this post gets 200 likes or comments, I will show up in a MrBeast video.
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
How do you get a clown to stop smiling?
You shoot him in the face.
One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.