INS jokes
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.
One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts, huh?
Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.
Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
So I was just chilling in the World Trade Center, and I got airplane Wi-Fi. I wonder why....
What do pears and emo kids have in common?
They both be hanging.
On this website, I just searched up "My jokes". In response, it said, "No jokes found." Wth.
You shouldn't joke about 9/11. My grampa died on 9/11. He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Once upon a time, three babies were born in 2015. She was always crying for 2015. He loves her birth date. 🤗😈🤗🤕🤒no🤗🤑😱😎🙌🙏🙈🙉🙊
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.