INS jokes
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.
What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?
"Get in the Batmobile!"
Buh dum tish.
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.
We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.
How many cats are in the human body?
None, unless you're Asian.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
Q: What's red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion