INS jokes
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."
Speak in AAVE, Mr. Bear...
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
You're really special.
But the R in special is silent.
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!
Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?
A. An ambulance.
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.