INS jokes

Cop

  • A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"

    The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."

    The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."

  • 1
  • Penis

  • What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

    Protest

  • Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA

  • 1
  • Pootin

  • "Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"

    "Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"

  • 2
  • Reaction

  • There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

    Reaction

  • There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

    Minefield

  • Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

    That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

    Orphan

  • An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

    I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

  • 1
  • Brick

  • Best way to trick your friends:

    A brick falls out of a plane.

    How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.

    How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.

    The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.

    Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.

    Adoption agency

  • Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"

    Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"

  • 1
  • Emo

  • You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.