a man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion. maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
Ads for meds be like: Chloroform its Chloroform helps with itchy eyes :side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM) AIDS (HIV/AIDS) Alphaviruses. Alzheimer's Disease. Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish) Arboviral Encephalitis. Arthritis. Babesiois.Cancer Unintentional injuries Chronic lower respiratory disease. ... Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases. ... Alzheimer's disease. ... Diabetes. ... Influenza and pneumonia.
It’s raining it’s poring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
U die from robot bite
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
My nan broke her toe by a brick today, last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire . Does that now mean I have to toe her back to the doctors.
I was anonymous, with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*"
What's black and white and red all over? A mime i hit with my car.
What will happen if someone kick you right in the balls? You will be like ow my nuts.
Gwen: Hi sir how are you? Tj: Good... you? Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date It seems like you need one 😉! Tj: 😏. Gwen: Here this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend! Tj: Thanks but um don't you think you should be um getting in side too? Gwen: 🙁. No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁. Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later. Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
Broke my toenail yesterday, I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
What do you call a injured person who doesn't wanna play a game with u? A soar loser
Why did the director have a injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
People are fighting in a war and a man gets hit 4 times in the arm and says "Tis a Scratch" And the other guy looking at him in shock says "A Scratch, Your Arm is off your body!!"
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda look like me.
What falls and never gets hurt? Rain ☔️
Why did the child drop their icecream They got hit by a bus
