Im jokes

I’m gay because I nutted on the wall, now there are walnuts.

Chat anyone??? I'm sooooooooooooo bored.

I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.

I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.

*guitar solo*

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mustache." "Mustache who?" "I mustache you a question, but I'm shaving it for later."

Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.

Hi, I'm a name.

Doctor: Hands husband his baby.

Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.

Husband: Then give me the one she made.

What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?

I’m thursty (Thursday).

Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.

Who deleted my stuff??? Woooow, you racist just because I'm Hispanic?

God creates a wasp :)

God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.

Angel: okay... a bug.

God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.

Angel: weird.. but okay...

God: and give it wings.

Angel: eh, not half bad Go-

God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS

Angel: *shook* o-okay

God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.

Angel: . - .

God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*

Angel: *cries*

Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*

Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.

Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?

Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.

Maybe your butt good? Maybe bad... I'M GOING TO LAUGH!

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

Hey guys, it's Gwen, and I want to say that I'm deleting my account regarding a comment made on my last post :(

I'm bored. Anybody wanna chat?

A man (Ameenya Sheed) texts another man (Bob) and said,

"Hi, I'm Ameenya Sheed."

Bob: "You're not in my shed because I don't have one, but I have a garage. I don't think you're in there."

I'm George Washington. I can't spell "teeth" or "American."

It’s nice hitting it from the back when my wife has wide hips.

Her butt cheeks look like big huge ball sacks as my thighs smack up against them when I’m thrusting. I like to finish off by grinding my weiner up and down her back like a gay man frotting his schlong on his partner’s ding dong.

Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit. Had a new mash, just landed. Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it. The verbal ting I can't stand it. Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it. Mad ting. Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it. Back on a Feltham landing. You ain't been in the hood like Robin. I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud). The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud). No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped. Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue that's dead.