Im jokes
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
*guitar solo*
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mustache." "Mustache who?" "I mustache you a question, but I'm shaving it for later."
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.
I'm a fat cow.
when ur bored in class so u post this and people start comenting the best shit
Hey, Hunger Games... I'm full!!
This ain't your mama's monologue.
Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?
A: He's the one the sheep fuck!
(I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)
Jeffy: "Daddy, Daddy, a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat!"
Marvin: "I don’t believe that."
Jeffy: "But he said, 'Jeffy, I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat!'"
The next morning,
Jeffy: "Daddy, a monster pooped in your hat!"
*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*
Marvin: "Jeffy, I don’t believe you, you pooped in my hat!"
What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?
I’m thursty (Thursday).
Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.
Who deleted my stuff??? Woooow, you racist just because I'm Hispanic?
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
Boy, if you don't get your "I'm Burger King with my Burger Queen!"
Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.
Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?
Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Maybe your butt good? Maybe bad... I'M GOING TO LAUGH!
Hey guys, it's Gwen, and I want to say that I'm deleting my account regarding a comment made on my last post :(
I'm bored. Anybody wanna chat?
A man (Ameenya Sheed) texts another man (Bob) and said,
"Hi, I'm Ameenya Sheed."
Bob: "You're not in my shed because I don't have one, but I have a garage. I don't think you're in there."
I'm George Washington. I can't spell "teeth" or "American."