Illegality jokes

I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!

"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"

"Wait! I can explain everything!"

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

(People will then say "r")

Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.

Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."

Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?

To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.

So Kenny finally found his one true love.

But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.

What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.

Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.

Bird on the beach: seagull.

Bird by the bay: bagel.

Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.

I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.

If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?

What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?

Aliens vs. Predator

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

What happens when a frog parks illegally?

It gets toad.