Ill jokes

What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?

"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

Gimme a nickel or I'll tickle your pickle!

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?

Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

What did one ballsack say to another?

"You stay here, I'll go pee."

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Through highs and lows, I'll be here for you.

What did the rapper say to the microphone?

"You better DROP THE BEAT, or I'll drop YOU!"

Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"

If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.

Wordle be like (pt3)

Any future Wordle jokes I'll just put into one mega comp.

STUCK 💛🩶🩶🩶💛

FOLKS 🩶🩶🩶💛💚

MAKES 🩶🩶💚💚💚

YIKES 💛🩶💚💚💚

Waitress: What can I get for you?

Me: I'll have a steak.

Waitress: How would you like it?

Me: Immediately!

2 7 73 53.

I'll give you time, figure it out.

Roses are red, Violets are fine, You be the 6, I'll be the 9. 😏