Ill jokes

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.

What did one ballsack say to another?

"You stay here, I'll go pee."

Roses are red, violets are blue. You belong in a zoo, but don't worry, I'll be there too. Just not in a cage, I'll be laughing at you.

I'll put white in your smile.

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

Gimme a nickel or I'll tickle your pickle!

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?

Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"

If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.

Wordle be like (pt3)

Any future Wordle jokes I'll just put into one mega comp.

STUCK 💛🩶🩶🩶💛

FOLKS 🩶🩶🩶💛💚

MAKES 🩶🩶💚💚💚

YIKES 💛🩶💚💚💚

What did the rapper say to the microphone?

"You better DROP THE BEAT, or I'll drop YOU!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Through highs and lows, I'll be here for you.

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.

When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?