Ill-being jokes

BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!

Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.

BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!

Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

Who's the fastest reader?

Me, 'cause I'll be jumping off so many stories.

Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."

20 years later

Orphan: "Dad?"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!

Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!

It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!

Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!

Tonight I'll be eating freshly grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poké Balls.

Do you get what I am trying to poke out?

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

IBC.

IBC who?

I'll be seeing you later.

Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like your's belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you.

Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.