If jokes

Knock knock... Who's there? It's Jesus, let me in... Why? I have to save you... From what? From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in.

If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?

Euro-peein'.

it's not rape if we're both screaming

If we can't see air, can fish see water?

It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.

If you faked the moon mission, don't apollo-gize.

I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.

I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.

He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

Girls are like math, if they're under 10, use your fingers.

If at first it doesn't succeed, try, try again.

If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.

Q: How do you know a wishing well works?

A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.

What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'

'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'

My grandma asked me if I could visit her.

I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,

They would be alloys.

Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."

So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?

How do you find out if your kid is gay?

Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.