If jokes

If Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden are in a boat and it capsizes, who survives? America.

If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.

If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.

What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?

My last if she knows what's good for her.

My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D

Roses are red, violets are blue, all these orphan jokes have ruined this site. Fuck you!

I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.

Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.

What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?

A short tistic.

You're gay if you see this.

This is not a joke, it's a warning!

You guys are stupid. I am an orphan, and you better stop doing these. BTW, if you are an orphan, put it in the comments and say that it's not funny!

If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?

That number is how many dicks you suck.

If I found BlessedBrian's jokes FUNNY, I would be just as retarded as HIM.

It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.

If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.

If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribble.

If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.

If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?