If jokes

If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.

The kid just hangs there.

"If you can't win, lose."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.

What did the mama nut say to her son?

“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”

Gwen, are you dead????? If not, I am Alya. Thanks for always standing up for me!!!!!!!!!!!

If you want to see what I look like, then pics will be coming soon!

But freshfry, how are you!

Oh, and this is Cassie, aka princess shortie!

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"

Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.

"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.

Orphans: Going 180.

Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?

Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.

Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.

Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.

Like this if you like me.

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.

Girls with natural hair act as if they have shares in Africa.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

El, if I know.

So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?

What happens if a redneck is bisexual? Do they go for their brother or sister?