If jokes

What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.

If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.

God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!

What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.

I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.

A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.

If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).

If water makes you laugh, then jokes make you pee.

If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?

You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.

What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.

If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?

Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.

Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(

Why do you need an AR-15?

So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.

Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"

If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.

Roses are red, violets are not lime, if you turn around, I will fist you anytime.