If jokes

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.

For people who love Gwen and think she is the best person on this website, comment if so.

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).

What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?

Travis Spick-le.

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!

I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.

If an orange is orange, does that mean it's orange?

I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.

My bad, I kick me bad in if balls, and he got so fucking mad.

Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.

What month of the year has 28 days?

Answer: All of them.

Gwen, I thought you would be with me if Prince broke up with you... :((((((

Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.

Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?

Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!

What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?

Answer: A promise.

Does anyone go to Eagle High School? Tell me what classes you have from 1st period to 4th period if you go to Eagle High School.

Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?

A: Home to see their mama!

I had something about tripping over ice.

Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.