If jokes

What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?

Travis Spick-le.

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,

Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?

If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!

Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?

If you're looking at this, then look behind you!

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"

Me: "Oh hell nah"

What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?

If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.

If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

Do they say you are what you eat?

That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.

If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...

What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?

It’s a bumper team.