If jokes

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.

If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.

Like this if you're an American.

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?

Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.

That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.

If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.

The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.

"Stupid faker, if you're trying to get me to leave the site, it won't work!"

If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."

Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.

Do you like fish sticks?

If you do, you're a gay fish.

Why are there no women in the NFL?

Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?

Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?

They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.

This is what the unknown guy is saying about Tenya and Kenya!

Go to each link and read it and the comments, and it will really make you cry!

http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fb240eccd25122cb21997/kenya-will-end-up-all-alone

https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fa7beeccd25122cb2197b/fine-then-if-i-cant-do-gwen-then-i-guess http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fbb2aeccd25122cb219a5/kenya-at-least-you-know-youre-ugly-and-accept-itit-is-tenya-and-kenya-twin-sisters

You think Gwen is the worst one to get bullied? Well look at this!

Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.

If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.

Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.

If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?

You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.