If jokes

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.

"Why?" said her friend.

"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"

"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.

"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."

Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.

Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.

Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.

Conclusion: Therefore he exists.

If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?

I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.

After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.

It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

What do you never say to gay people?

IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️‍🌈

If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?

How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?

If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.

If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?

So she claims to be.

And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.

Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.

If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?

Roblox Brookhaven be like:

"ABC if you wanna be adopted."

"ABC if you wanna be my friend."

"ABC if you wanna be a banker."

"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."

"ABC if you wanna date."

"ABC if you wanna sex."

If ignorance is bliss, BLESSEDBRIAN must be the happiest person alive.

If brains were dynamite, BLESSEDBRIAN wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.