If jokes

If you read this, you qualify as gay.

Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”

Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”

Boy: “Yeah, why?”

Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.

You have the rest of your life to figure it out.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 8 9.

But why did 7 eat 9?

'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D

What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.

Your favorite music artist is Cardi B? I prefer Cardi A+ if I'm being honest.

Is it classed as down under if you eat out an Australian chick?

If Thomas Running invented running, what did Paul Walker invent?

If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?

If the noose breaks, stab yourself!

If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!

If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*

If 7, 8, 9, why was 10 afraid?

It was between 9/11.

Do you play Sea of Thieves? See if these balls fit in your mouth, gotteeeem!

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.

If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.

If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.