If jokes

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.

If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.

If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."

If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."

If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?

They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.

If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."

If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

If you ever think no one cares about you,

kill someone, then the news will.

If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......

Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga

YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!

If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

Lily, Amy, Natalie, and Gabriella, it's my birthday tomorrow. Please come if you want to come. If you come to the party, there will be snacks and cake. Ty.