If jokes

Kidney

  • If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!

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    Suicide

  • What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

    Orphan

  • Girl: Hey.

    Orphan: Hi.

    Girl: Wanna be friends?

    Orphan: Sure.

    Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.

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    Police

  • Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.

    Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.

    Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.

    Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.

    Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?

    Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.

    Police: ... Child: 😊

    Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*

    Bean

  • How many beans are there in Irish chili?

    Answer: 239

    Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?

    Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."

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    Orphan

  • I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.

    People

  • Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.

    Orphanage

  • I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.

    Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.

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    Wordplay

  • Why did the 2 4s skip lunch? They already 8! Jahshshs.

    And how did the pirate know that she saw land? She was shore of it! If u get it leave a like. Hahahahaha and which thing was heavier, a feather or steal? It's they way the same amount 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 Lol like

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    Condom

  • If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.

    I dunno man, worked for me.

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    Essay

  • If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.