If jokes

If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?

How many beans are there in Irish chili?

Answer: 239

Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?

Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."

I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.

Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.

What are they gonna tell their parents?

I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.

Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Why did the 2 4s skip lunch? They already 8! Jahshshs.

And how did the pirate know that she saw land? She was shore of it! If u get it leave a like. Hahahahaha and which thing was heavier, a feather or steal? It's they way the same amount 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 Lol like

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.

Oh wait...

If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?

If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.

I dunno man, worked for me.

So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?

If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

"Like if u cry everytime."

What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?

Hellephino (Hell if I know)

If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.