Identity jokes
Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
Spider-Man: No Way Home
Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
I'm as straight as a rainbow.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
Frenid: R u gay?
Me: Yes u
Frenid: No I am bi.
Me: Dang it!
Frenid: What?
Me: I like u.
Frenid: Ok I like u to.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!