Identity jokes
I'm as straight as a rainbow.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
Frenid: R u gay?
Me: Yes u
Frenid: No I am bi.
Me: Dang it!
Frenid: What?
Me: I like u.
Frenid: Ok I like u to.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
"How would you describe yourself in three words?"
"Lazy!"
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...