Ice jokes
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
I'm gay.
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
life trick: don't get in relationships so nobody can break them
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"
The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."
So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES winter sports?
Ice Cube.
Yo daddy so ugly he want them ice.
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."