Ice jokes
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
I found the most UGLY people (the circled ones)
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
Why did the boy not cross the road?
Because he was on thin ice.
School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.
How did the hipster drown? He ice-skated before it was cool.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"