Ice jokes
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
What goes inside and comes out wet?
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
Yo momma's an ICE agent!
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
- Dude, what is your favorite rapper?
- He is very cold-blooded.
- Why?
- He is Ice Cube.
Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.
What's the difference between ICE and ISIS?
One of them says their prayers five times a day.
Yo mama so fat, she the ice burg.
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
Little Johnny is walking around and peeks in his parents' room, catching them having sex. So he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply, "Nothing, nothing! We're just, uh, making cake," and they send him away.
So he continues walking around, and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother's room. He walks in and catches his brother and his brother's girlfriend having sex and then asks him, "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells, "Get out! We're making cake!"
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says, "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night, huh?" and she replies, "OMG! How'd you know!?" and Johnny replies, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."