Ice jokes
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
Memes
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Why do Mexicans only drink hot drinks?
Because they're afraid of ice!
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
What’s worse than dropping your ice cream?
The Holocaust.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."