Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't want to get stuck in any more cracks!
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”
Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”
Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”
Ex-girlfriend: “20!”
Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
What was Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
My dick itches.
Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.
When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Ni tshike mbangi bcz ani zaha toilet, nikarhi Ni hlometela out side loko tiniba. Ni hlometela ndzeni ka poto.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the street?
Because it got stuck in a crack :)
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
