Humor
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?
It doesn't know jack.
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
if ykyk
"Knock knock."
"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?
A. They always seem to punch down.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Stop with the 9/11 jokes, people. They're just not gonna fly.
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Why can’t October fool April?
Because only April fools.
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "A bad joke."
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."