Humor

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.

My dick.

So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."

Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."

I think there will be many more jokes afoot! 👣

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.

Hehehe

What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?

He found that he had a piece in his sole!

The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.

Deez nuts eat nuts.

Mom told me drugs are my enemies.

Jesus said to like your enemies.

Yay, I can like drugs then!

What's brown and in a baby's diaper?

Michael Jackson's hand.

I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.

I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

She chews before she swallows.

I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.

What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"

Who is the coolest vegetable?

Rad-ish, of course!

Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.

What did one skeleton say to the other?

Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"

Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)

Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."

Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"

Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"