Dynamite

A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."

Priest

What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.

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  • Emo

    What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

    Memes

    Stoner

    Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?

    A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

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  • Pedophile

    Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.

    9/11

    You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.

    Friend

    My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.

    Me: But they're not that long.

    Life

    Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.

    Telephone Number

    Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:

    "And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."

    Wall

    So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?

    ... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.

    Fart

    Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”

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  • Pencil

    Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!

  • 0