Humor Jokes

This isn't a joke but

I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny so please leave the people writing these alone 😭

How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw

you know what me and my spine both have in common we are both not straight

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A Doberman in a playground.

We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...

Unless you're being raped by a clown.

Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?

-the emo went 2 give the tree a high 5 but the emo was left hanging - how did the gay person die? homocide -why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? he was cutting in line - when does a joke turn into a dad joke? when it leaves and never comes back -I cried when my dad chopped onions. onions was such a good dog -I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away -how is the person over there different the cancer? his dad didn't beat cancer

I hope u like this it took 5 minutes to make. what's_up also has good jokes to favorite him/her/them plz

So Johnny was working at a deli, a woman walks up and asks, do you have any salad? Johnny says no, she asks? What about carrots? Again Johnny says no, she says what about bananas? Johnny says "tell ya what, spell out "lad" in salad" she spells L A D, Johnny replies "spell "rot" in carrot" she spells R O T, Johnny says "now spell "fuck" in vegetables or fruits" she says "there is no fuck in vegetables or fruits" Johnny exclaims "thats what ive been trying to tell you!"

Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?

A: He heard the snowblower coming.

Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today" and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron". Then the first atom said "How Ionic"

*My mom trying to get me to do dishes*

Mom: I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes.

Me: Why did you?

Mom: I was very drunk...

Explains a lot...

I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway. .

why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms ~ knock knock who's there? not sally ~ what first went through sally's head when the nazis came? a bullet ~ where did sally go when the bomb exploded? everywhere ~ what did sally get for christmas? a bike

Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?

Yea, they went through 80 stories in seconds.

On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous",

I'm dying to live forever !

Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like a the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How you ask? Ask the Twin Towers

Stephen Hawkings just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. My first time in the air, my instructor informed me but he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane, and his buddy says "well did you jump?"the guy says yeah, a little at first.