Humor
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snow balls.
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
Why do women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.