Why is 1026 afraid of 1028?
Because 1028 1029.
Humor
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
Puns, that's how I roll.
You wanna hear a joke? You.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
Eat my butt.
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...
What's the difference between you and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
