Humor
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
Me: I kiss my mom on the lips.
Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor-
Me: Lower lips.
Friend: I gotta go.
So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
What do you call a bad pun?
The pun is not punny!
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.
How do you shrivel a dick?
I can see Uranus from here, and it's mighty gassy!
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.