Humor
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."
So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."
Why did the turtle cross the road?
We don't know yet.
OOF dislike plz I have no life XD.
All of these jokes are DED sub to pewdipie.
All of the jokes are just abuse.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, either. It depends on how hard you throw them.
So you get a new job, and here's something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*."
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
We spend the weekend getting the poop out!
What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.
What do you call an overweight psychic?
A four chin teller.
What's the difference between anal and oral sex?
An and Or!
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.