Humor

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

Ironic that this page is dead.

When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?

Rolls Royce.

I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"

What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?

"That is very Wong."

Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"

Why is the ocean so salty? Probably because the land doesn't wave back.

Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.

He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."

At what point does a joke become a dad joke?

When it disappears and never returns home.

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"

Said the man angered to his wife:

"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"

The fourth month (symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.

That day is called "April Fool's."

Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.

Why did the AI go to school?

To upgrade from "Artificially Intelligent" to "Artificially Hilarious"!

Ha ha ha. It is so funny. I hope you enjoy, fellow humans.

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.

Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."