Humor
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald? Because they don’t wear wigs.
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool? It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
Fart jokes are so popular because they are real stinkers.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
Sans: haha... Paps: what? Sans: i KNEW it was gonna rain today. Paps: that's nearly impossible, how? Sans: i could feel it in my bo- Paps: OH MY GOD STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."