Humor
Would you like a piece of Africa?
Would you like to know why? Because it's a dessert/desert.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He didn't have any BODY to go with.
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?
I'll never forget my sister's last words. "Is it edible?"
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
What do you call a un-funny rock?
A normal rock.
*insert pun here*
What do you call a man off the ground?
Hanged.
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.